I've been hiding.
It hasn't helped.
Instead, I've found myself not sleeping, fidgeting, sad, tearful, and generally stressed out to the back teeth.
Let's just say that abuse doesn't stop just because a judge signs divorce papers.
It might stop when either he or I die.
I had a feeling that something was about to happen a few weeks ago. And then some paperwork was delivered to me.
He Who Does Not Deserve Respect wants money. I thought the divorce papers agreed that neither one of us would go to the other wanting support...but now he's changed his mind.
In my absence, because of course I can't get to the States that easily, the court has set the amount I am supposed to pay him monthly at something extortionate.
If I don't get it changed, I will not be able to stay in my flat.
Essentially, I'd be made homeless.
So, you see..that's where the stress is coming from. I've been growing to love this little place of mine..
Stress isn't good for my health. Walking, typing, knitting...everything is too hard right now.
I'm in a sorry state, and this is not a very happy post..my apologies.
I wish a more peaceful existence to all of you..and if you have any extra peace which you could send my way, please do!
It's hard for me to adopt any notion of peace right now, but without wishing to sound like a hypocrite...